Never Underestimate the Power of Listening

"Listening moves us closer, it helps us become more whole, more healthy, more holy. Not listening creates fragmentation, and fragmentation is the root of all suffering."  Margaret Wheatley

     There are very few places in our lives where we can be listened to deeply without judgement or interruption. Deep listening is about listening from the heart rather than the mind. Some church communities have initiated this practice of indigenous origin to facilitate dealing with difficult or contentious issues. Others have made it a regular spiritual practice where the silence provides a connection that is not felt when questions and words take over.
     In my experience personally, and as a pastor, all too often I have seen a person speak up with a need to be seen and heard with their truth and dignity honored, only to be met with quick responses of how they can be "fixed".  From a pastoral perspective, as well as a practical approach, what most people are seeking when they share their thoughts and reflections, is connection with their own inner most teacher. It is easy to overlook the healing power of deep listening.
     Recently, I experienced a difficult end of employment closure meeting with my supervisor. When I left her office, I needed to debrief, to have a witness to my pain and hurt, someone to listen to me deeply as I began my process. Finding someone who was both available with uninterrupted time, in a private setting, and not distracted by the environment, her cell phone, or other distraction was the initial challenge. Secondly, I needed someone to hold the space with me, to listen deeply in an environment of rest and refuge for my emotional exhaustion. My partner was able to do this for me, but I also needed a colleague to hear me, and ironically, that was the most difficult listener to find.
     It appears to me that we need to reclaim the healing power of silence and deep listening. The harder silence is to find, the more we seek it. It is a common human response to expressions of pain and suffering to want to offer an immediate antidote. Having no answer is the answer. 
     When someone is listening deeply, silently, and not thinking about what to say, you will know it. The profound holiness of such invisible sacred connection can be felt. The Wisdom of the Divine becomes the silent healer.

(submitted by Rev. Dalene Fuller Rogers and does not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of other members of the Organ Mountain Institute for Spiritual Growth)